Burning Jealousy

Burning Jealousy

what should i do !!!

can only speak in the heart "keep me away from envy and strengthen my faith in everything,

let others speak

as they please as long as can make them feel satisfied

with what threw to me gladly i will accept it.

it is very easy to say a word

that can make the situation into a gap trigger cracking a relationship.

honestly I am confused by what is in this bond,

why every doing something from any angle why always want to try first without thinking about what will happen later,

without first seeing the reality in front of the eyes without thinking before deciding what might make people others become disgusted with such unnatural behavior.

life will be beautiful when it is contained in the sense of sharing with each other,

in the same sense as being encouraged to be strong until the end of the day

instead of dropping each other or pitting the sheep.

If it is the nature that grew from the moment they were born then it is already its character

and until whenever it will remain on its authenticity,

For them it is easy to cover

but I sure will not last long

because in fact they hold and hold in it in the end

without being slowly conscious will be seen its form.

Is there a sincere,

unconditional living world in this world ?

a thousand and one may exist but it is difficult to get,

there is only curious in every step of life that is still waiting in front there,

all depends on the destiny that has been written in each,

as the creature can only follow the bow

and arrange when there may be some a steep gap may be also dirt is the direction toward the tomb.

28 january 2018 ,

what I feel now is the disappointment that so painful I feel,

I do not hate

and I'm not angry

but I'm disappointed,

how I explain because my mouth is like silencing,

it's hard for me to accept this fact

but what is this power to say a word very difficult to where do I start,

the woman I've always dreamed of as my mother's figure is just a trajectory,

how wonderful the relationship

that I built with genuine affection in seconds alone broken by a false bond,

yah .... !!!

I can only let the long breath

and silence think for a moment in the heart !!

is this a dream or is it real ??????

the sound is like being ripped apart like a knife,

painful but heavy to loose,

I did not expect it to happen that way.

if only at the beginning of this bond run as it is maybe I can understand and accept it,

without too much this bond,

but the rice has become porridge so whatever it will not be possible to turn into rice again.

Let the past 3 years ago be a happy memory for my life

and for now hopefully

I can start again even from under me

I sincerely because I love the truth

and for now I still can not ready back hug as before,

forgive me if all this time I can not make you happy mom,

I love you I really want to take care of you,

looking after you,

accompany you,

and share stories with you.

Maybe someday you will understand me,

I'm not a perfect girl,

I still need to learn a lot from my day,

and I can not demand my will,

because I realize who I am,

I know how I should put myself,

once again I apologize

if I'm not useful to take care

and maintain I have tried my best

but if I still lacked your blessings I can not do anything,

one's ability can not be measured

or judged by words but lived and perceived.

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Munggu, 6;00 am

                                                                                              L.L